Day 19- and I am almost done with my fast...only 2 more days after this.
But today, even though it was barely anything, I broke my fast.
Mandi and I went out to lunch today and I got tomato basil soup. When it was brought to me, it had cheese on the top. I thought about asking them for one without cheese, but I knew that asking them to throw out a bowl of soup so that I could have a plain one completely contradicted fasting. I couldn't openly waste food.
And so I sat there, in my catch-22, and was reminded that decisions arn't always black and white. So I took my invisible humble pills along with my lunch of tomato soup and melted cheese that was impossible to completely take out before eating it.
And as much as I would have loved to get to Monday morning and said I went 21 days on a Daniel Fast without ever breaking it, I realize that this isn't about me, and that this glorifies God more.
In Phillippians 3, Paul writes a letter to the Phillippians, and it looks like this:
"If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless.
7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."
Paul says hey, if anyone can boast they are good, it's me. I've done every ceremony, I'm from the right tribe, and I havn't broken any rules.
But then he reminds the people that this is not what makes a man whole. He says he counts it all as a loss compared to how great God is. He says that nothing he has done or not done is as important as having a relationship in which Christ cleans us.
Being perfect isn't the point. Drawing near to God is.
And so, here I am, imperfect in my fast yet the closest to God I've been in my fast thus far. And in the next two days, I will continue fasting and learning and inching even closer.
day 19- orange, raisens, tomato soup with a dash of humble, and broccoli & cauliflower with yellow curry
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